queer singaporean

Brokeback Mountain

2006-01-20T12:55:00.000+11:00

I've been gone for awhile, took a lil break from blogging and had a pretty good vacation. All's good and now I'm back, half tempted to switch from blogspot to blogsome, we'll see how it goes.

I've gotten my tickets to the charity premiere for Brokeback Mountain with my girl, can't wait for that. Pretty excited about the show and there's been so much hype about this Ang Lee film. Just last week my girl and I finally got down to watching "Wedding Banquet", where this gay dude got married outta convinience (something I'm planning to follow) but got intimately involved with the bride outta mistake (something I don't plan to follow). A lil cliche here and there, but it must have made an impact in the GLBT scene during that time(the film is pretty old, 1993 film). In contrast, the Brokeback Mountain seemed to have pushed boundaries like never before and I sincerely do hope that there will be more people will catch the film and get the "message" about love knows no boundaries, yada yada.

Speaking of Gay Love, there's been an issue lately about Liberty League and I say fuck'em. The guy heading the organization is as confused as a lost soul and probably has a hidden agenda about a certain religion anyway. Also, if people choose to believe that dumb ass "doctor" on the show awhile ago that homosexuality is a psychological disorder then it's time to pick up Psychology 101. Homosexuality has been taken outta the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders since the 1970s if my memory doesn't fail me. The so called self proclaimed "doctor" on that show must have gotten his degree yonks ago or hasn't updated himself since then. Another point is, since Singapore still thinks that we're a buncha loony and mentally impaired people with a bloody disorder, Singapore's probably 40 years behind time anyway.

It's simply a different sexual preference and people still don't get it. What we do behind closed doors could be as disgusting as any heterosexual couple out there, and it's your own perspective. If the government thinks that by giving 100k to an organization with a hidden agenda could alter OUR sexuality, sexual identity and sexual preference, they're so damn wrong. Who choose who we love, how we wanna love them. It's really not up to the government to dictate how we live our lives.

I can't wait to get outta this country. Sigh.

She say she anyhow draw one

2005-11-10T22:40:00.000+11:00

My girl, claims that she anyhow draw with Corel Painter one.

Me

Her

You BELIEVE HER?!?! I'm pleased to say that the tablet I've got for her is well spent on =)

30 days

2005-11-04T00:20:00.000+11:00

Popagandhi's post on how tiring a life as a lesbian just struck a chord in me. Tiring? Hell yeah! To all those people out there who keeps insisting that a girl in love with another girl is just a "girl's school thing" or a phase, here's a big FUCK YOU thank you very much.(I'm not from a girl's school mind you)

Most of us have been brought up in Singapore to think that gays and lesbians are gross people who are gonna die of AIDS sooner or later. Parents tells us not to mix with them coz mixing with them will result in us catching Aids(for the extreme cases) or we will contract the "disease" of becoming gay when we grow up and the list goes on. In other words, it's just terribly to be gay lah, coz no hope already get it? Sometimes closets themselves jokes and pokes fun about gay people to make sure that people won't suspect that they are gay. Some of us might even be guilty of joining the "fun" to make sure that fingers don't point our way too. I'm sure this experience isn't unique to just a few of us. Others seek solace in religion, believing that by praying everyday their sinful thoughts of liking the same sex would go away while some just kill themselves over the guilt of letting their parents down.

At times, I feel real fortunate that in Australia, I get to hold my girl's hands whenever and wherever I want to. Occasionally we get wolf whistles when those rednecks are driving past but that's about it. In clubs, there might be assholes who comes up to us and request to get some action but most of them learn when to back off when you give them the finger too. In Singapore, the social stigma attached to gays and lesbians makes it way too difficult for anyone who is still financially dependent on their parents to come out to their parents, friends and family. In clubs, it almost becomes an invisible package that many Singaporean straight guys assume that they have when it comes to socializing in clubs. As long as the chick is feminine, she probably isn't a lesbian and that gives them the right to pick'em up. If a masculine girl comes along and tell the guy off for coming onto her girlfriend, she's seen as a public nuisance (Read the other entry on Beer Bingeing Butches I wrote awhile ago). Isn't this a lovely Singapore we live in? We're not homophobic.. uh huh yeah right..

Guess who's the gay one? =P
Enough of my rants, I apologize. Anyway, I've just finished watching the program 30 days. Thought it'll be interesting to share with you guys. It's about this really macho, christ-loving, farm boy who loves hunting, loves God and very homophobic guy who had to live with a Gay guy in San Francisco, Castro. Castro's probably the gay-est place you can every find on earth, the population of Gays and Lesbians who settle there is bloody high. Point is, the homophobic farm boy had to live and hang out with the gay dude. The farm boy had pretty bad impressions of Gay people right from the start and believed that Gays are sinful people alongside with prostitute and yada yada (thanks to the bible, or rather the people who interpret it).

Farm boy couldn't stop saying how he miss being around chicks instead of gay guys and things got really heated up when they headed to a gay bar. Farm boy attended a gay church service as well and argued with the gay minister with regards to what the bible said about gay people. Farm boy argued that even thought the bible said that killing people is wrong, he believed that defending his country by killing people is well justified but homosexuals are sinful people coz God said so in the bible *yawn. Farm boy also worked in a cheese and wine place that allowed him to interact with gay people and also his gay boss teaching him about finer things in life like wine tasting and stuff. Towards the end of the show, farm boy was still pretty adamant that gay people have sinned and do not deserve equal rights until he went for a gathering at a support group for parents and friends of gay people, only to understand that that the only difference that gay people have with their heterosexual counterparts is their sexual preference. Gay people still play sports, eat, sleep, hang out with friends like what most straight people do as well. On the final day when farm boy headed home, he realized how much he had learnt during the journey of staying with the gay guy for 30 days. He also realized that his family haven't been out much and haven't seen enough to understand that there really isn't much difference between the 2 kinda people.

Lovely show I say, perhaps we should make the lovely government of ours go live with gay people for a month too. PLU might be registered immediately the next day. LOL. Another chance of gay people living in Singapore having equal rights would be if someone in the famiLEE turns out to be gay. *winks.

Singapore Gay sites banned

2005-10-28T22:23:00.000+10:00

I'm not a big fan of porn, but I don't equate gay websites and porn unless the website's intention is to let its viewers view gay porn and all yada yada. We all know how easy it is to surf porn in Singapore, practically every heterosexual male or gay male does so. Note that most of these sites are still very much accessible to our young Singaporeans too.

Now what I found really interesting was this.. For those who haven't heard, sgboys got fined, and another gay site (I ain't too sure what site is that) got banned in Singapore.

THE authorities here have taken action against two websites popular with gay men here following complaints that the sites contained offensive content.

One of the websites, which promoted promiscuous homosexual behaviour and recruited underage boys for sex and nude photography, was put on the Media Development Authority's (MDA) list of 100 banned websites in July, after it received 'several' complaints about it in March.

The MDA ban means that Singapore surfers will no longer be able to access the site - which is hosted overseas - from their home computers.

The other website, titled 'Meet Gay Singapore Friends', was warned by the MDA to remove 'offensive' content found on it and fined $5,000 last month for its transgressions. It has heeded the warning.

The MDA declined to say whether it had taken action against other websites, homosexual or otherwise, in the past. It also did not disclose the list of 100 banned websites, but noted that 98 of them contained pornographic materials, and two were religious extremist websites.

MDA spokesman Kwan Sui Fen said it took action after 'several complaints this year' about the two sites.

Investigations showed that they had breached its Internet Code of Practice, which governs the content of websites here.

The two sites violated 'Part 4' of the Code, which includes depictions of 'nudity or genitalia in a manner calculated to titillate', and material advocating homosexuality or paedophilia.

One of the complainants, Mr Ricky Lee, a 33-year-old freelance software programmer, told The Straits Times that the local site that was fined used to have nude pictures and videos of gay men having sex, but these have been removed.

Besides pornographic pictures and videos, the banned overseas site also provided listings of public swimming pools without shower doors and pickup places for casual sex, information about mass orgies here, and even explicit personal advertisements recruiting underage boys for sex or nude photography.

Said Mr Lee: 'People have the right to their choice of lifestyle - and I don't have a problem with that. But the way the sites glamorise a promiscuous gay lifestyle and try to entice young boys to join this lifestyle...is very wrong.'

His worries grew when the sites' tactics appeared to work - the number of people registering for the sites has been growing.

For example, the banned site's registered members grew from 60,000 last year - when Mr Lee first stumbled upon it - to more than 330,000 this year. Mr Lee believes most of the members are local, as the content focuses on Singapore.

Although happy that the MDA has banned the more extreme, overseas-hosted website, Mr Lee believes more can be done - he wants the authorities to make the site's operator take the website down.

This could be tough, said lawyer Bryan Tan of Keystone Law Corporation.

'The MDA's jurisdiction is limited to sites hosted from Singapore, or operated by a Singaporean - and this might be hard to prove in this case, or the site could genuinely be run by a foreigner.'

The MDA has referred the case to the police.

Wow, that Mr Lee must have been a really hardcore Gay Site fan for him to go around surfing and updating himself on the number of member these gay sites have got and also gone in to check out what kinda porn is available for downloading only to realize that they are not exactly the cock and pussy porn he was waiting for. I applaud to him really. Of course, to him these gay websites are "advocating homosexuality" coz surfing gay porn will definitely make you gay. Uh huh yes.. My guess? He felt his gay tendencies evolving and maybe even getting outta control to the point that he decided to call MDA to shut down the site so that his gay tendencies will be kept away in his closet. Lol. Good on ya mate! Now you're gonna remain straight! Woohoo!

Remember that People Like Us were warned that the more they ask for the lesser they would be getting eventually? In this scenerio.. Perhaps I would associate it a lil with Warwick deciding against setting up their University in Singapore as they fear that there won't be much political freedom and what is undergrads wanna set up a "Queer Student Union or Society".

According to Fridae.com

In fact, one complaint that the Warwick feasibility study team had was that the civil servants gave them such "by the book" answers when asked about political and academic freedoms, the team was left feeling more uneasy than reassured. All the more, they valued second opinions.

In contrast, PLU could explain clearly how the Singapore system works, and could cite examples of opaque decisions and government clampdowns. Warwick consulted PLU even on matters that went beyond gay-related concerns.

Warwick Uni actually consulted PLU and what I guess is, PLU gave the frank and honest description of the current situation in Singapore with regards to freedom and the answers are obviously not what the government would have wanted Warwick to hear. As a result? Perhaps this is what they call the "gay backlash".

Makes me feel like it's a conservative Daddy telling Rebellious Son "I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE BUT YOU DON'T LISTEN! NOW I'M JUST GONNA TAKE AWAY SOME OF YOUR ACTIVITIES AND ENTERTAINMENT. THIS IS A LESSON FOR YOU. JUST WAIT AND SEE, COZ WHO'S YOUR DADDY?? ME!"

Daddy - Gahmen.
Rebellious Son - PLU.
Activities - Nation Party.
Entertainment - Gay sites.

I am not saying that all gay people do is surf porn all day long or the only party we go to is Nation Party. I think you get the idea what I'm driving at with regards to that analogy.

This are my own personal views that may be entirely flawed, so now now.. you've got your own eyes to balance it all out so don't fault me =)

PRIDE BANDS!

2005-10-17T20:01:00.000+10:00

Found these "not found in Australia or Singapore" Pride Silicon bands. Sweet!

Got a couple for myself and my partner, still waiting for my other friends to make up their minds so that I could help them mass order and send it back to Singapore.

If interested, drop me an email or just leave a comment here. =)

Coming out.

2005-10-13T01:58:00.000+10:00

I've been dead, DEAD busy. Loads of assignments plagueing me down, driving me crazy. CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY! No time for a detailed update but here's a lil one anyway.

Oh yes... Have you gotten your copy of TIME magazine yet? =P I'm a lil curious though whether this issue is allowed to be circulated around Singapore? MDA might just claim that it is "promoting" an alternative lifestyle once again. Zzz... *snore.

I came out to my brother when he dropped by. He guessed it all along and I guessed that we're not siblings for nothing. I'm glad to say that it's like a load of my shoulder coz I always knew that he'll be the first family member I'll come out to. I feel... lighter now. =) All along I felt so tied down by this guilt and all that shit that I have to keep lying and lying to my family members letting them think that my boyfriend (my pseudo boyfriend who's gay) and I are in a relationship and blah blah blah. I guess my brother is smart enough to guess my sexual orientation even though we've never been really close. For me to come out to him ain't easy, and I've never felt better. It's not about encouraging me to be even more "gay", but I just feel that I have 1 less family member to lie to and it certainly feels awesome.

Life is good.

Even the homophobic loser from stopgays stopped blogging!

2005-09-17T15:58:00.000+10:00

I believe most of you have read the stopgays blog. (It's this blog that contains a hell lotta hateful words that you can find towards lesbian and gays and some to other races. I would say it is made up of illogical content and a rather immature author). It's impossible to miss his blog, I mean, he goes around spamming so many blogs with his blog add to gain more hits?

Now that there've been 3 bloggers who kenna lawsuit due to racism.. I reckon that the author from "stopgays" got scared. He actually took out ALL his older entries which are mostly full of insulting comments to other race as well as homophobic content. I was actually planning to take action when I head back to Singapore in December as I took down his IP address. It's a Singtel Zapsurf one... =) He took down his archives though.. Anyone who's got his archives please send the content to me and I'll be eternally greatful.

Will the racist PSC scholar get sued then?

2005-09-13T20:34:00.000+10:00

So.. 2 bloggers who made racist comments got sued. Apparantly it wasn't exactly on a blog, but a forum for dog lovers.. Now does anyone remember what happened months ago with the Racist PSC scholar Chua Cheng Zhan?

He made really horrifying comments about our Indian Singaporeans and seriously racist and elitist like remarks. It wasn't a one-off incident but throughout his blog entries on different days and months you see him making comments like they are smelly or you can't see them and really insulting ones about the president of his Singapore Student Society who is an Indian too.

Now.. if 2 guys (I presume non-government scholarship holders) got sued for being racist towards our Malay Singaporeans... Would Chua Cheng Zhan get sued? The whole racist blog saga was even picked up by the media. I'm sure some government body would have seen it... Are there gonna be any actions taken? Or are they gonna be hush hush about this whole thing just because his grades are good and also a future civil servant? I wonder.

Think about it.

Oprah featured a black London guy today who went on for a so called "makeover" to live as a white men for quite some time. People treated him differently, or rather nicer and no one gave him a second look when he was on the streets. Just because he's white, like the majority. He even took part in a Nazi skin-head parade march on the streets with the other white young skin-heads in his "white facade". I wonder what would those skin-heads do if they found out he was actually black. Would they feel guilty about judging someone by his skin colour? I really wonder. Skin deep, he's still black. People just don't get it I guess.

Part of of Straights Times reply

2005-09-09T15:36:00.000+10:00

The edit has finally replied in a cocky manner

Dear XXXXXX,
Your near-anonymous email reached the webteam of The Straits Times Interactive, the website which picks up what appears in the print edition of the paper.
I've forwarded your email to the Sunday Life! team already and it's for the writer there to get back to you on this.

Sincerely
Chiang Yin Pheng (Ms)
Dep Ed/ ST Interactive

____________________________________

The reader has replied this.

Dear Chiang,

Thank you for replying me after 2 emails. I certainly believe that I am not breaking any law in Singapore by not revealing my last name. I'll be looking forward to a reply from the journalist responsible for the article then. That's a cute lil attachment you have sent me by the way. Cheers.

Not-so-anonymous

XXXXXX

____________________________________

You can tell that this editor has lost his/her cool already.

Why not give your full name since you are raising what you think is a valid point?
For the ST Forum, letters that are anonymous are not selected for publication; journalists are discouraged from quoting those who don't want their names revealed. In the same spirit of being free to express your views without fear, you ought to offer your name too in correspondence.
The journalist should be able to take as good as he/she dishes out. (Actually the absence of a byline for that piece - an opinion piece - puzzles me. It could have been an oversight by page designers.)
But I hope he/she gets back to you on this.

Yin Pheng

____________________________________________

Well firstly I do not need my letter or rather my feedback to be published coz it's going around the blogosphere anyway. Secondly I do not believe in being able to express whatever opinion I have knowing that Singapore's media and government has got such strong censorship to begin with. All I wanted to do, was to let the nameless journalist know that he/she has to be responsible for his views as the paper is being read widely in Singapore as well as people who are not as homophobic. I am thankful however that you guys have taken time out to reply me with regards to the article that has done many of my friends injustice.

Whatever it is, I guess I'll just wait for the journalist to reply.

Regards,
XXXXXX

Apparantly the journalist responsible for the article STILL have not replied after 1 whole week. Their editor did though. Whatever it is, I guess we all will be anticipating for the day when the journalist has finally got enough balls to own up.

Straight Times

2005-09-06T14:46:00.000+10:00

Our lovely Straight Times has once again proven itself how homophobic it's editor and journalists are. They've published an article "Beer Bingeing Butches" with rather derogatory content which pissed the hell out of a reader who reads my blog. She has wrote them a reply a couple a days ago about how she felt as a paying customer reading that darn article. It's been 2 days and there's still no reply and She has sent them another today to "harrass" them once again. Lol. Enjoy

Sept 4, 2005
Beer bingeing butches

THE Ladies' Night concept has attracted women all right, but for some clubs, it has also attracted the 'wrong' sort of women.

Some nightspots have reported witnessing an increase in the number of butches - females who dress and behave in a manly manner - visiting their clubs during Ladies' Night to take advantage of the free-flow promotions.

Their presence has apparently irked some customers - of both sexes - who do not think of them as eye candy in the traditional sense. Besides, some argue, the butches sometimes create a scene when they bicker among themselves.

This doesn't square with the clubs' motive for hosting Ladies' Night, which is to attract attractive female patrons who, in turn, would entice more men to these clubs, thereby generating bigger profits.

Newsroom Bar, a club at Robertson Walk, claims it suffered a 35 per cent drop in its Wednesday Ladies' Night business over the last four months because of this problem.

Ms Joyce Lee, general manager of Towkay Wong's group which runs the club, says: 'Many customers have given us feedback that these people can't behave themselves and are atrocious.

'The trendy women do not want to be associated with them, and so we will be taking appropriate measures to rectify the situation accordingly, bearing in mind we are still a service provider.'

Some clubs admit they have taken measures such as refusing entry or having tighter security to keep butches out, or away from the free drinks.

Ms K. Tan, 30, a senior sales executive who frequents Newsroom Bar on its Ladies' Nights, was spotted there in an oversized T-shirt and staggering around in a manly manner with her friends.
When asked about the situation, she says: 'The waiter asked for my IC and it says 'female' on it. Nothing to be shameful about or embarrassed.'

My reply on 4th September

Dear Straight Times,

I am honestly appalled at how homophobic your paper is and I am flabbergasted that such an offensive article actually made it through the eyes of your editor. You have truly once again reaffirmed your status as a PAP propaganda loudspeaker. I have tried to look for the contact of the person responsible for this article but realized that the author did not even have the guts to put his (I'm guessing a male?) contact up to be responsible enough for his words. Isn't it policy to put the journalist's name with every article that he or she writes?

The offensive and derogatory words and nature of the article only reflects how conservative this newspaper is and how over exaggerated the numbers have been to instil homophobic sentiments among Singaporean readers. Firstly, it is a personal choice whether or not a woman wants to dress as in a feminine or a masculine way or behave in whichever way she wants as long as she doesn't prove to be a nuisance to others. Are you telling us readers that our male counterparts are never a nuisance in clubs when they are drunk? I have personally encountered sticky man who refuses to give up and follows you everywhere you go in clubs as well as men who behaves unruly when they are drunk. They stick to you till you get so annoyed and resort to kick them in their balls. I have friends who are “butches” and I am glad to say that at times like these, they prove to be better companions than these sticky men who don’t know when to back off. Not everybody in Singapore is as conservative as how your paper portrays young Singaporeans to be.

By saying that their (butches) presences are an eyesore to the other patrons, your journalist has only proved the point of how he has selected only the "conservative" old man as well as whom he deemed the "right crowd" to interview. I also believe that some numbers have been exaggerated and words has been crossed out to let readers believe that "butches" are truly nuisance in clubs. Is that the spirit of journalism? I believe not.

As a paying customer of Straight Times Interactive, I would love to know the name or contact of your journalist responsible for this article, or I'll personally find it very difficult for me and many of my other Singaporean friends to continue subscribing to Straight Times Interactive when our subscription ends.

I would expect a reply from you guys soon thank you.

It's been 2 days and STILL no reply, as a paying customer I was serious getting into a bitch fit. So I sent them another mail a few hours ago.

Dear Straight Times, I have sent you an email a couple of days ago regarding the insulting and derogatory content of this article and have yet to receive a reply from you guys.

1. Who wrote this article? Is there a way of contacting the journalist who did this article?

2. Why did the editor approve such an article with such homophobic content?

I would expect a reply soon, thank you very much.

The real deal

2005-08-15T21:56:00.000+10:00

A friend studying journalism has requested me to do an interview for her assignment. Topic? Erm.. something along the lines of wannabe lesbians/andros, yada yada. Wannabe lesbians? I've seen too many, especially in clubs. Straight girl on straight girl action is borrrringggg... I'm sure the whole hyped up Sandralicious thing is a good example, with it achieving it's aim of attracting attention and more hits on her blog. Well well, to all you out there who's guilty of being wannabes, here's a pic to put ya'll to shame.

Rules of engagement.

2005-08-11T15:27:00.000+10:00

My girlfriend and I've been discussing on how we should take things further, and reckoned that we should get engaged. As strange as it sounds, I've already told a good friend and she wasn't totally supportive about it. Not because she's homophobic but she feels that we ain't ready to settle down yet. Perhaps, but I do believe that she's someone that I would love to spend the rest of my life with as much as she has some irritating habits that makes me wanna stab her occasionaly and same goes for her. Such differences, are more as less the same in heterosexual relationships isn't it?

At 22, and 21(her), it may sound normal for heterosexual couple to wanna get engaged and settle down for good (a few of my friends are already engaged). But for a lesbian couple I guess it's just strange? Whatever it is I have mentally prepared myself in a way that I know some of my friends may not be comfortable with the idea of 2 girls getting engaged as much as they are lesbian and gay-friendly people, in fact I've already came up with a list of possible reactions that might come from my friends. I just hope that they can understand that it is my way of wanting to take this relationship to a higher level, and to also affirm my love and devotion for her. It's the least I can do I guess.

Anyway, I'm pondering over what I should do. A heterosexual couple would probably let their parents know, but not in my case. Get a ring maybe? We've already got a titanium one but I really don't mind another Tiffany or something. =x Throw a party? Maybe, in fact I was half tempted to announce our engagement over 2 friend's birthday at the end of this month. I need ideas! Argh...?! What should a lesbian couple do when they are engaged?!?!

2005-07-18T11:15:00.000+10:00

I'm blogging this down now, coz I'm in an extremely foul mood due to disturbed sleep.
Sometimes people may think that having the Master Bedroom in the house is an awesome thing.
Trust me it is a big NO.
Why so?
I have everything in my room INCLUDING a toilet (the house has 3 toilets and 1 of it is in my room), and now there are 4 people using my toilet including me.
Everyone comes in at the wierdest time to shower or to use and borrow things.

1. 1 of the housemate wakes up real early in the morning to shower, sometimes 7am sometimes 8am. On a good day, it will be 9am. Yesterday she showered at 6am and the day before she showered at 5am I believe. And I am NOT exaggerating.

2. Sometimes when that housemate is home, she'll have a friend over and later her friend will shower AFTER when she is done.

3. The other one comes in maybe half an hour later or an hour later to shower or to borrow my hair dryer. That's 3 times my sleep can be disturbed in a day.

4. On a bad day, maybe another housemate would come in to borrow the phone coz I'm the only one who bought a house phone over to Melbourne. But thankfully they do that only when I am not around normally and rarely when I am sleeping.

5. On a worse day, maybe another would come in to borrow my printer to print something, but once again, it happens only in exam times, which is rare, so it's good.

6. On top of that the dog whines in the morning to go out and pee coz she can't take it anymore.
If I am that unlucky in a day, I will get disturbed in my sleep 6 times. But thank the person up there, on most days it's only 2 to 3 times.

I stress, disturbed when I'm sleeping is NOT a funny thing.

If you think getting disturbed 2 to 3 times a day when sleeping is alright, maybe I should put you in my room for a trial run of a week. Everytime someone opens the damn door, I get a shock coz it'll creak, whereas my girl normally sleeps on coz she can sleep anywhere I think.

I am in SUCH a foul mood now. ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRS. Fucking hell, I really hate the fact that I have a toilet in my room. ARGH!!!! All of a sudden, sleeping in my room in Singapore has became a luxury.

I need to work something out with the sisters who are in Sydney now enjoying life before I go crazy due to lack of proper sleep. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

donations to nkf from poor people?

2005-07-10T22:55:00.000+10:00

I'm watching the charity show on channel U.
I think the organization (let's call them N..K..F which stands for No-money no-Kidney Foundation), can really go kiss my ass.
No one has any idea how they deal with the funds, and it's just a fucking dodgy business with stupid aunties who fall for their tricks.
My mum's client came to see her 2 days ago and told her,
"Mrs XX, I got no money leh, can charge me cheaper anot please, please? I really got no money leh"
So Ma told her what they charged and she was like" Orh.. Like that huh... Er.. ok lah can"
Ma waived part of the fees for her lah.

Later on when she was at the waiting room with the other people and they started talking about N..K..F. The client that had no money got really excited and told all of them that she made HUNDREDS of calls to N..K..F. -_-"
Er... Didn't she just say she had no money? Ma got really annoyed and told the client off, and the client's daughter agreed with Ma about her mother's stupidity.
"I told her don't call so much, call until we are so poor already still call! She keeps thinking can win money!" Her daughter said.
Dumb-arse aunties.

It's just amazing how No-money no-Kidney Foundation can con aunties to donate money to them letting them think that they've got a chance at winning money hourly and all that crap.
N..K..F can kiss my ass lah.

Addendum@ July 13th: Nkf has been famous for sueing people who tries to reveal stuff about them, and making them make public apologies on national papers, when it comes to these sort of things to "protect" their reputation. I hope bloggers around Singapore will UNITE and make sure that we do NOT get sued, coz we're blogging as a whole. You get the gist. =) Gotta make sure that the A*star incident doesn't repeat again! Anyway this whole NKF issue must be the BEST thing that Straits Times has EVER reported. Finally, some truth in that paper!! At least now we all know where the money went don't we? =)

2005-07-08T12:43:00.000+10:00

Oh dear, did Straits Times pay this guy to say this?

July 8, 2005
ST has indeed been a part of my life

I WOULD like to congratulate the management and staff of The Straits Times on the paper's 160th Anniversary. An avid reader of the newspaper, I cannot imagine a day without it.

Very few realise what it takes to bring the news, views and information to the reader's breakfast table each day.

Journalists at times risk life and limb, displaying sheer guts, commitment and dedication. I salute all of them and say a big 'Thank You'. Your tireless efforts to excel have made The Straits Times one of the best in this region, if not the world.

Ralph S. Lesslar

Er..... Nevermind. He probably never read any other papers in his life.
Anyway the heat has been unbearable, and I think I really do miss winter back at where I'm studying at. I guess as much as I do dislike the hypocritical government and conservative people in Singapore who thinks they rule the world, I do enjoy the comfort of speaking Singlish English without having to put on any dumb accent especially when giving directions to taxi drivers or ordering food.

Afterall, I did grow up here. =)

Oh yes to the author of stopgays, if you've got enough balls, leave your real name down instead of spamming everyone else's blog with your address. No readers, means no readers, don't bother "spreading the homophobic sentiment" by spamming. Just give it up asshole, and if you do try to spam my blog with your add again, you're fucking with the wrong hole.

2005-07-06T02:53:00.000+10:00

Been back on the sunny island, so far relationship with folks are stable, fortunately.
I've been busy with the family tree project, it's always been my wish to complete it before I hit 25.
As in really compile those 300 over people in the xxx family and there you go.
I've got nearly 70 of their pictures so far, and it's a bitch to try get the remaining 230.
I need divine intervention.
Sigh.

My partner asked me today if the reason why I'm so into this family tree project is because my relatives and I aren't exactly close? (we meet once a year, only during chinese new year)
I reckon what she said made sense, and perhaps that's 1 of the main reasons why I'm so desperate to get it done.
It shall start with my grandpa who has 2 wives.... after which 11 sons and 5 daughters... =)

做人不能忘本，更不能忘掉自己的根。

Oh yes.. I miss bankok already =

a not so happy childhood.

2005-06-22T12:22:00.000+10:00

Last paper today, finally!
Looking back, I recall being a real klutz a year ago. There were 2 locations for exams, and I went to the wrong one, which was quite a few blocks down from the correct one.
I only found out that it was the wrong one only when I found my seat number. Dude at the seat number insisted it was his place and I started running for my life for the correct location and end up hitchiking a cab. lol.

Nevermind about that, random thoughts for now as I struggle to get other resources into my brain. I was thinking about how my life changed 2 years ago when I realized that I could be given an opportunity to come overseas for my studies. First thing that came to my mind was that I could finally escape from the clutches of my mother. Don't get me wrong, I love my father dearly, not that I don't love my mum. But sometimes the way that she handles things are just too extreme. I had an abusive childhood, so did my mother.

Her mother was a demon, and I'm glad my mother didn't reach her full potential of being one. But still, in my younger days, I was whipped real bad all the way till I was in JC. My friends are often appalled by the marks on my body, and there was once when I was in year 1 I ended up going for class with a cane mark across my face. That was for buying a handphone without letting my mother know. Another incident, my mum whipped me at least 50 times on my back, butt and practically scarred it real bad for a couple of months. When I went to school, my friend gave me a pat from behind and I practically started tearing from the pain. She was real apologetic about it, went to the toilet and I lifted the back of my shirt to show her. She started crying. That was for forging signature on my progress card, I got stripped and caned while trying to run away from my mother.

Another incident when I was in lower sec that left an impression was when I flunked my maths paper. My form teacher saw my zebra-like legs, and wanted to see the rest of what happened to my body. She saw, and realized how serious this was and asked me if I wanted to call the cops, as she realized that my mother actually used a rod to hit me. My mother reminded me once that if I ever dare to go to a police and she is thrown to jail, she would bang her head till she dies in jail. Would a 13 year old do that to her mother? No. No matter how abusive she was, I knew a part of her still loves me, but sometimes it's just too hard to handle.

When I was 4, which was the first time my mother whipped me, my dad tried to put a stop to it, but she told him that if he dare to intefere with her teaching her child, she would divorce him immediately. That, was for drinking from a stranger's cup. (My mother was super hygienic)

So when the A's come out, I realized that it was my only chance to go overseas so that I actually have a chance to grow on my own. To see how life is like outside Singapore, and outside this conservative family of mine. I talked my way through it, and they decided that maybe it would be good to let me go. (Do bear in mind that I was straight at the point of time when I was in Singapore).

I am penning this down because sometimes, smart alecs who thinks they know it all thinks that I'm just one of those people who doesn't love Singapore, in other words "wang4 ben3" (read in chinese) meaning forget their roots. No I never did forget mine, ironically when I'm going back during this 2 weeks in Singapore, I'm working on our family tree on my dad's side coz we probably have around 300 over people? It's my way to do something useful instead of sleeping at home coz my mum doesn't really let me out often even though most people thinks that at 22 we are mostly free to do anything we want. It's not that I don't like Singapore, really, maybe it's just my mum. All you out there who had a happy childhood and perfect parents who are liberal and understanding will never understand how it was like to be tied to a chair, stripped naked at 11 to stand at the door and the list goes on. But at least cut me some slack when it comes to not loving the country (except for the stupid weather). Not everyone had such a fantastic life like you.

Ok back to my work now.

My heart goes out to the Sarong Party Girl

2005-06-21T17:48:00.000+10:00

My heart goes out to the SPG girl.
I felt that the way those stupid tabloid newspaper ran her story was fucking biased and obviously trying to sway public opinion into thinking she's a loose whore. Trust me on that, coz I've got relatives reading that paper and the other Zaobao and are already thinking that she is one.
I'm just glad that she isn't having exams or anything now, coz it would probably be enough to mess up her mind. But then again, judging from her writings, she seemed to be a strong girl, so may the person up there bless her with strength.
Hopefully her folks would send her overseas for her uni studies, and NOT stay in Singapore, or she would probably be attracting much unwanted attention. Singapore's a fucking hypocritacally conservative country, and perhaps it just doesn't suit her.

Well, I'm sure Australia welcomes you with open arms. =)
At least people here won't judge you by whether or not you've flashed your titties or your sexual activities whatever.

2005-06-21T02:00:00.000+10:00

Preparing for my last paper, and I've only got 1 comment. Political Science's a bitch, roars!
For your viewing pleasure =)

The maltese and I.

Now all you straight guys, aren't you glad that I'm a lesbian.. hahahaha...

That's my pet. It's about time that she appears here.
On a side note, lomography rocks!
It was fun to be tomorrow-ed and watching the statcounter jump. I guess it also shows how fast things can spread on the internet too. Scary. *shudders. Back to the books. Australian's public policy's a bitch to study.

"I will be a shu nu aka demure lady" camp

2005-06-15T16:57:00.000+10:00

Contrary to popular belief that most Singapore students who have left sg for Australia, Europe and USA suck in chinese, and do not read chinese newspaper, I shall prove them all wrong.

Here's another article that pissed me off. This time, it ain't shit times, but lianhe zaobao.
I believe those who reads both paper find lianhe zaobao even more biased and conservative than shitty times.

Ok, shall stop digressing.
Lianhe zaobao article speaks of a 5 days camp that will be organized by Singapore Chinese Chamber of Commerce & Industry. This camp, is about teaching young girls how to be a shu nu. Shu nu? Demure woman lah... The kinda sweet innocent young ladies who knows how to "behave" themselves and look after their husband in the future?

培养淑女从少女开始

　　先说什么是淑女？所谓淑女无非是指“美好的、优雅的女人”，表现在个人的言行举止、仪表，仪态、风度、气质等方面。

　　虽说这是个男女平等的时代，但不论在生理或是心理上，男女之间，终究还是应该有不同的气质和韵味。男女平等并不表示男女不分。

　　中华总商会企业管理学院学术部主任及文化语言中心负责人彭志红说，举办“淑女营”的主要原因，是因为目前有许多家长觉得现在的女孩子欠缺女性气质，行为举止很“豪放”，失去了女性的优雅，比如在一些公共场所如地铁上或地铁站经常可看到女孩子席地而坐，动作很不优雅；又如一些女孩子待人接物不够斯文有礼，显得没有礼貌；甚至也有一些女生不太懂得注重仪表，不会穿衣服；另有一些妈妈则投诉，女儿的房间很凌乱，从来不收拾衣物。

简单的说，目前女孩子的性别特质较过去都淡化。

彭志红说，“淑女营”主要为十几岁的女孩子提供“养成教育”，也就是日常行为规范方面，因为十几岁是身心发展的重要时期，促进女孩子良好个性品质形成。

　　她说：“我们开办‘淑女营’是在双文化人才培养方面所作的一个新尝试，因为文化貌似一个抽象的概念，但文化是具体表现在社会生活的每一个部分，以及每一个人的行为举止之中的。女性素质的高低对家庭的文化氛围及生活品味起着重要的影响，从某种意义上，女性教育的成效与一个优雅社会的形成有着内在的紧密关联。关注与加强对正在成长阶段女孩的养成教育，培养她们成为睿智、具有柔韧之美，干练又不失婉约优雅的新一代女性。”

她说，要培养淑女必须从少女时代开始，全面塑造女孩的内在气质与外在形象。这些，便是开办“淑女营”的初衷。

女儿太好胜少了女人味

一些家长也认为，气质和涵养也必须靠后天培养。

50岁的谢女士之所以特别为14岁的女儿报名参加淑女营，就是发觉女儿在待人接物方面不够婉转，对父母和家人也不够体贴，更不要说协助妈妈做家务。

　　谢女士说：“我希望自己的女儿能多学一些关于华族礼仪的东西，行事作风较为彬彬有礼，比较像个女孩子，这是目前许多女孩子较缺乏的部分。”

　　邓太太也希望自己的女儿能够懂得，“如何做一个真正的女孩子？”

　　她说：“要做一个成功的女性并不一定要什么都和男性拼斗，现在的女孩子都太野、太好胜，不知不觉失去了女性的特点，我希望能够将她们拉回来，但这并不是要她们像我们的上一代一样以男性为中心。”

5天学会当淑女

　　从今天开始为期5天的“淑女营”教学内容，包括第一天的“华族礼仪”如日常待人接物，节日探亲访友，了解节日典故及家庭伦理修养等；第二天的“优秀女性面面观”，如传达优秀女性的特质，优秀女性的类型，优秀女性的气质美，优秀女性的形象美及优秀女性的成长之路等。第三天的“花季热线”，则包含了如何与父母有效沟通，如何处理与异性的关系，如何保护自己身体发育带来的变化与烦恼等。

　　而在第四天的“阳光女孩的衣、食、住、行”，则从审美品味的角度，教导女孩如何穿出青春之美，如何吃出少女的健康美丽，如何使书橱衣橱井然有序、设计属于自己的个性闺房，管理好自己的情绪，做个快乐的女孩儿。

　　现代女孩都不做家务？在课程的第5天，淑女营则教导女孩做个妈妈的好帮手，甚至训练她们做个“临时小主妇”，帮妈妈安排一周的家庭生活；做个巧手小公主，动手帮妈妈扮靓家居。

Ok translation, I'll make this short and sweet.
Singapore girls don't know how to behave like woman, too competitive with man, don't know how to dress, act like wild child, in other words still comes down to don't know how to behave like woman in the 60's or maybe those china woman and vietnamese woman that some Singapore man fancy.

The objective of the 5 day "I will be a demure lady" camp is to teach them how to dress, how to eat and keep their figure slim and healthy, behave like a lady, keep their room neat and tidy, control their own emotions and be a happy little girl. (the last part irks me, and I am so sure that Xiaxue would be darn pissed off reading the article too.)

They argue that even though this society speaks of equality, there is still a difference between man and woman in terms of their physique and emotionally. Hence being equal does not mean not differentiating who is a man or who is a woman, ie. androgynous.

One of the interview with a mother Mrs Teng,(I am so sure she is a housewife, but then again that is my point of view), said that girls nowadays are to open-minded and competitive and has lost the "quality" of being a woman. I hope we are able to convert them back to what a woman should be like.

I'm a lil lazy to keep translating coz I'm preparing for my last paper, but I believe you get the gist of the camp and the "motive" that lies underneath it all. Maybe that chauvanistic organization should reflect on themselves a lil and organize another 5 days camp on teaching boys "how to behave like a gentlemen". Maybe in that way, the society could go back to the LKY model of how a traditional family should be like. (giving birth to more than 2.1 kids per family lah..) If this chauvanist organization thinks that a 5 days camp is all that they need to make a modern girl into a shu nu aka demure lady, think again man.

Seems like a perfect time for them to have this camp after the Sarong Party Girl incident, since they probably see her behaviour as "unwomanly and wild child like".

I'll rant more after exams.

2005-05-31T13:55:00.000+10:00

While reading up on Straits Times Interactive today (which I absolutely regret paying for that damn service), I chanced upon the article on virginity by this girl called Lee Wan Yi.
Yes yes, we are from an Asian country, so asian values would mean having to keep your "first time" for your husband. That sounds more like a Male Chauvanist Pig value in my opinion actually. Nevermind about that, but it was what this NTU girl wrote that annoyed me a lil.

Here I quote,
"Virginity is the best gift a woman can present to her husband."

Er... Hello...? Knock knock? Are you stuck in the 1800s or something whereby your husband has to "poke" you on the night you get married and see if you'll bleed till the sheets get stained. THEN the next morning that pussy boy will bring the sheets to his mother and the whole family will rejoice in unison and acknowledge that the girl that just got fucked the night before is a virgin, and hence would be a virtuous wife and a good mother, good daughter-in-law and the list goes on.

The point is, this girl who just wrote to Straits Times has just demonstrated to the whole wide world (in my opinion) that it is important for a woman to let her husband have the first time? What about the husband? Does it mean that the guy is at liberty to screw around but not the girl? I don't have that much guy friends who are still a virgin, in fact some of them lose their virginity in NS when their friends drag them to Geylang for a good time and make sure that they LOSE it that instant.

It just pisses me off, what is the world coming to?

I mean really, I don't have a problem with virgins, neither do I have a problem with non-virgins. I'm pretty confused you see, in a heterosexual world, I'm still considered a virgin (or so my partner insist; edit: i didnt insist, just 'technically' you are still one but then again that is in the hetero point of view so whatever, fuck it la, literally) but not in a lesbian world. I have friends who are still virgins, and some others, in a monogamous relationship but are sexually active WITH their partners.

It's just so hypocritical and typical of the government to be like that. They believe the need for sexual education, but not prevention of sexually transmitted diseases. Why so? Think about the Snowball party whereby there was a booth set up to distribute condoms in conjunction of promoting awareness for preventing AIDS. That booth was shut down by the police, and yeah, once again it was seen as promoting an alternative lifestyle just because it's a party of gays and lesbians. What about heterosexual people who's forever ONS-ing?

There're just so many arguements to why sometimes pre-marital sex is inevitable

Oh bugger, just remain monogamous la, problem solved.

what's cool and what's hot

2005-05-25T22:01:00.000+10:00

Steven Angelglides, my lecturer in History of Sexuality (who is gay and has a very cute and sexy butt, and oh ya, I forgot he got a Phd in don't know what I can't remember) brought up something that just made an impact on me.

During tutorial and lecture these couple of weeks he brought up the definition of what is a woman, or what is me, what is you, and blah blah.
To every man, there is a woman.
To a me, there is a you.
To a heterosexual, there is a homosexual.

Without a homosexual there isn't an existence of heterosexuality.
Similarly, without a man there isn't the category of a woman.
There is always a binary opposition of a meaning of something, in relation to another.
Without you, an idea of "me" will never exist.

However what makes a me, "me"? Or rather what makes a woman, "woman"?
Meaning, what are the qualities that makes up this category? Is it a pair of boobs? Is it our reproductive system? What about woman who cannot reproduce? Is she not a woman anymore? Is it definitive that a woman is a feminist is a lesbian? Coz many guy friends I know thinks that anyone who is feminist has got to hate guys. How about, what makes a Singaporean, a "Singaporean"? Someone who speaks singlish well? Or is it someone who loves his/her country much. How about someone who loves their country dearly but was told that they were not acting like Singaporeans (think of the rock band BoredPhucks aka The Suns who were banned in Singapore because they said day to day vulgarities that Singaporeans use on stage while performing). Or does being a Singaporean mean that we worship LKY wholeheartedly?

Then my housemates/sisters said that this other friend S of ours is cool, but the new housemate who's is hardworking and doesn't smoke is not? S is cool because she smokes and she can get us weed according to them. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that being a smoker is cool, neither is being a non-smoker uncool. I smoke occasionally(1 stick every 2 months?), but not on a regular basis and I am surrounded by smokers. But what defines the category of "cool" in modern day? Yankees thinks that the word "cool" is so uncool to be used to begin with, is that why Paris Hilton can't stop saying "that's hot" on Simple Life? Does the definition of cool mean conforming to what we see on Hollywood these days? The pop culture that everyone follows? Does un-cool mean wearing a pair of spectacles and being born from a country that is an asian country which some of us are? Or does cool mean carrying the pink I.C which states Singaporean? These are the sort of discriminations that seperates us, that makes us different, stereotypes that tear us apart because people are afraid of venturing into the dark, the unknown, thus a label that is planted on the other person makes us "less frightened" of who other people are?

There's always a grey area in between of defining this and that. Science may not be the only answer of defining something clearly, neither is research able to come up with a proper answer of defining what is a gay gene. So perhaps in the mean time I'm just contented with being the not-so-cool me.

Give me your 2-cents worth.

2005-05-20T22:25:00.000+10:00

Once again I'm a lil outdated on issues, been to busy with my work and also entertaining a friend who's from Singapore popping over for a visit.
Nevertheless, I've been following up on Shianux's blog and read up on the whole issue on bloggers being deemed as erm.. how should I say this? Deemed as "unprofessional" or something like that.

Ya la ya la.. So you're telling me that only those papers from Straits Times, Today and all the other journalists are very professional in terms of their reporting and stuff? Wake up la Singapore, Straits Times and all the other mainstream papers reports whatever the government wants them to report, and I've got the facts to prove that. A relative of mine holds a relatively high position in 1 of the government controlled papers. Now there aren't much mainstream papers so you make your guess. I can't tell nuts coz she IS still working there and I would not only get myself into trouble but also get her sacked from her job I reckon.

During a dinner a couple of years back when I wasn't in Uni yet, I had a chat with this relative of mine over the media industry. She was still holding a rather junior position at that time, but explained to me that it's really not that easy to be a journalist in Singapore. Note, I mean in SINGAPORE, especially if you're working with those mainstream papers. I was still rather interested in studying in mass comm, or perhaps media and communications in whichever Uni that I make it into at the end of the day. She told me that she's absolutely disillusioned with the situation in Singapore whereby she can't actually report the "truth" even though she entered the industry bearing the ideals that as a reporter you should report the truth. You get the gist. Whatever that you report gets reviewed by the editor or whoever's up there and stuff, and if they reckon that it's something that may be defamatory (even if it's true) to the gahmen, you can't report it.

With a journalist working IN a mainstream government controlled paper explaining the situation to you as such, would you still want to further your studies in that area? I certainly got rid of that idea instantly.

Some claim that bloggers who blogs may be blogging without backing up their facts. But who would want to back their facts up if blowing the whistle may mean that they may have to blow their cover and also risk losing their jobs or citizenship?

A year ago(2004) one SIA pilot GOH, was deported out of Singapore because he was accused of stirring trouble in union. This led to LKY being pissed off and confronting him during a union meeting which later on led to him being deported. All he did was leading a vote in November to dismiss pilot union leaders who'd accepted proposals by Singapore Airlines -- which is majority-owned by the government -- to slash wages, lay off staff and force employees to take unpaid leave. I got wind of this issue and tried to find out more from Straits Times Online when I was still based in Singapore. To my dismay, I found a link to a story that was actually reported by one of those very professional and ethical journalist (to my surprise). I clicked on it and guess what? They'll bring you to a page telling you that the article is missing or it may be from a wrong link or something like that. It's the usual Straits Times style again, report on something that MAY piss the gahmen off, then immediately take down the article from the site. This really pisses me off as a paid subscriber to that stinky gahmen paper!

I want my money back!!!

*Mental note.. It's time to put up a disclaimer soon.. =)

2005-05-08T15:57:00.000+10:00

I was looking at the funniest homophobic website, stop gays. Uh huh, I think some of you've been read it a couple of times and find it amazing how did that dude in there have so much hatred towards fellow homo-sapiens who are just not as weird as him.
My partner read a couple of articles and dismissed his writings as simply no substance and contradicting in many aspects.

As an ardent fan of hiphop culture, I have to point out this GLARING mistake that this dumb dude just made. (The thing is this guy not only has a problem with gay and lesbian people, but straight people too!) He believes that platonic friendship between men and women is possible (not that I find it impossible) and illustrates it with the song, Sunshine by Lil Flip.

Upon reading it, it nearly made me spill my milk out. (Skip the lyrical parts if you find it too long.)

(Highlighted parts are by the stopgays dude who claims that platonic friendship between men and women is possible)
Lil' Flip (feat. Lea) – "Sunshine"

[Lea]
Sunshine
I could call you my baby boy
You could call me your baby girl
Maybe we can spend some time
I can be your sunshine
I could call you my baby boy
You could call me your baby girl
Maybe we can spend some time I can be your sunshine

[Verse 1: Lil' Flip]
Look, I know you wanna chill with a player
But all you got to do is keep it real with a player
Just answer your phone whenever I call
Cause I'm riding on chrome whenever I ball
I like them short and tall but not too thick
I just walk in the spot and take my pick
And they wanna roll cause they like my style
And when I pop my collar I make them smile
I need a lady on the streets but a freak in the sheets
That know how to cook cause a nigga like to eat
Spaghetti shrimp and steak and I'll adore you
I'll treat you like milk I'll do nothing to spoil you

[Chorus: Lea]

[Verse 2: Lil' Flip]
I know your friends wanna holla cause I got them dollars
Push the Maybach monday tuesday Impala
I switch whips like kicks I'm a balla
And if I get your phone number I'm gonna call ya
And we can meet up the next day and chill
But I'm always on the road baby girl, that's how I live
I got bills to pay, I got moves to make
But when my plane touch down, pick me up at 8, don't be late

[Chorus: Lea]

[Verse 3: Lea]
We don't have to be in love
We can just be friends
I will be right there, beginning to the end
I can bring my girls, you can bring your friends
We can both have fun, don't want this stuff to end

[Verse 4: Lil' Flip]
They say love is pain and pain is love
I know ya Momma mad cause you talk to a thug
You think you know my type but you ain't got no clue
About what a real nigga like me do
I like to stack my bread and flip my chips
And I can change ya life if ya get with Flip
I take private jets to Vegas man
It's twenty grand each pick cause I'm major man
We can cruise the world in a Bentley Azure
But don't worry, the chauffer open the door
You couldn't ask for more cause we got it all
Cause you my baby girl right? Right?

[Chorus: Lea]

[Outro: Lea]
We don't have to be in love
We don't have to be in love

It amazes me with how substance-less (is there such a word?) or rather dumb he is.
Note that stopgays dude actually thought that the baby girl and baby boys refered in the song really meant that they were simply friends.

This is for that dumb dude who thinks that the song is about platonic friendship.
The song is talking about fuck-buddies you idiot.
If you keep insisting the song isn't talking about lust, IT IS.
"Just answer the phone whenever I call" - Be there when I need a screw
"I need a lady in the Streets but a FREAK IN THE SHEETS" - he needs a lady he can flaunt when he's out, and someone who still good in bed.
"We don't have to be love, we can just be friends" - uh huh yes we don't have to be in love but yes we can still screw!
"We can both have fun, don't want this stuff to end" - so let this be an open relationship where we can be friends with benefits (aka fuck buddies), and at the same time see other people.

So yeah there you go Mr I-think-I-know-it-all-and-wanna-wipe-out-all-gays-and-straights- and-people-who-are-of-a-darker-skin-colour who just insulted a culture that consists of rappers who often bust lyrics that may be derogatory to women. It may often refer to women as sex objects, but there are other strengths in this culture that I still admire and respect.

Anyway he just made a fool of himself on the world-wide web, and I'm praying that he gets more hits so that people can actually see how "illogical" he can get, coz I just burnt his racist homophobic puny lil yellow ass =)

Peace Out.

Political and Non-political blogs.

2005-04-24T17:10:00.000+10:00

I am a little outdated with some issues, bear with me.
Steve from Singabloodypore recently wrote about an article on how there seemed to be more "immatured" bloggers than political and matured bloggers around Singapore. I have to say that I think I fall into the former category more than the latter. To begin with, my english isn't that fantastic, and I don't think I know enough to blog about very political stuff. But what constitutes this blogging atmosphere that most of our blogs are more funny, rather than serious and political?

Well firstly I reckon that most blogs are personal, people do like to rant and bitch about their friends, proclaim their undying love for their partners and the list goes on. The objective of their blogs are mostly for their close friends to read, or maybe a couple of voyeurs like me who has got nothing to do of course. But some of them do write well, and it is actually enjoyable to read these once in awhile apart from those who types "tOdAy I sAw HiM aGaIn, I sO hApPy wOrX! LoLX ~~**~~**~~" That kinda blogs just makes me wanna tag them and tell them to TYPE PROPERLY!

Secondly, a lot of people actually find it "risky" to pen down anti-government sentiments for fear that they might incur the wrath of Pap? I mean, even though there is a way of remaining anonymous on the internet, there is still a risk involved especially if you're blogging from Singapore I think. I'm not sure, but I think there might, or may be a possibility of the government tracking down people who blogs about them? (ok, I've watched too much Hollywood movies, I apologize)

One of the unofficial Uni publications recently wrote about the censorship in Singapore that resulted in a pretty talented rock band Bored Phucks from being banned in Singapore itself. The irony of it all is that this band is being appreciated widely by fans from where I am now, which is obviously not in Singapore. The reason why they were banned? It was claimed that they were not behaving like Singaporeans (so WHAT is a behaviour of a Singaporean suppose to be I wonder), and the list goes on. The real reason was of course they were too popular and attracting too much attention from the police and government. In Singapore, anything that attracts too much attention is BAD.

Hence I would dare say that the way that Mr Brown and friends do write in a manner that does poke fun at the government every now and then, but seems to fall into a safe category(perhaps for now at least). They do have a lot of fans that follows their blogs religiously, and I guess Mr Brown writing for TODAY doesn't really help if he complains too much about the system in Singapore on his blog. I see his kinda blog as more of a "stepping-stone" for those who aren't actively involved in political affairs of Singapore which is a good thing.

I have to say that I kinda enjoy reading Popagandhi's blog recommended by my partner =)

I guess different kinda blogs appeals to different people yeah? I don't really have a problem with who writes what, so long it speaks of the truth. (cliche as it sounds)

2005-04-23T21:52:00.000+10:00

I've been a lil busy lately to blog.
Busy with darn assignments, and got kinda mad few days back with a homophobic wanker.
A lil account on what happened if you scroll a lil lower.

Here's a topic.
Is sexuality innate or acquired? Discuss with reference to historical examples.
I realized that I've been doing research in a wrong area that's absolutely not needed in my assignment.
Argh! *&%$^#@!!

I've done a more psychological and biological kinda research rather than a "history of sexuality" sorta. I shouldn't be refering to anything that concerns genetics or chromosomes of that sort, rather, I should be talking about how culture of man influences our sexuality. It's a little bit of a nature vs nurture debate, but it's more accurately described as a Essentialism vs Constructionism sorta debate.

Essentialism is the name most often given to the perspective that view gender and sexuality as natural, innate, universal or fixed properties of all beings.
Social constructionism perspectives often view gender and sexuality as complex products of history, culture, language, subjectivity, social learning and conditioning.
My arguement is probably going to state that any models of sexuality incorporate a combination of essentialist and constructionist assumptions.
I need a break... Sigh.... But I guess this essay's gonna be one of the most "enlightening" ones that I'm gonna ever do =)

An interesting example I came across is the arguement about the hijras of modern India—mostly transvestite or transsexual male prostitutes who perform music and dance at important social festivals. Focault argues that they are homosexual because of the castration that they have to do to themselves while another historian Rictor Norton, argues that it's is because of their homosexual identity that predates the castration hence, resulting in the idea of "construction" I read this bloody source over 10 times before understanding what it was getting at.

The gahmen should really set up a department of sexuality or something like that to do some research instead of pretending that we don't exist. *bitter laughter*

Ok here's what happened to me few days back.
My partner told me what happened to her few months back in Singapore.
A wanker, (read: a homophobic one) who is a friend of my partner, started off by asking her if watching porn is normal for guys. She thought it was pretty normal because her guy friends mostly did surf porn. THEN he asked her for a nude pic. He wasn't kidding with her to begin with, and knows very well that she is in a monogamous relationship. When my partner turned him down, he said a bareback pic would be good enough too.

I have sworn that the next time when I bump into him, he will either go home with cheeks full of my palm prints, or I'm going to shove his puny nuts up his arse. On top of that, wherever I am if I do bump into him, even in the middle of no where in Uni, I swear to the person up there I WILL scream into his face "YOU FREAKING PERVERT" before walking away with a maybe slightly sore palm. Watch me, I will, because I found his action to be extremely demeaning to a lady, a lesbian, a fellow homo-sapien. GROWLSSSSSS!

2005-04-20T22:25:00.000+10:00

I've got no queer issues to blog about, but I've got some funny stuff to post here to day.
I don't know how this weirdo/spammer got my email add, but anyway I played along.
Remember how there was this big hoo haa awhile ago about spammers who trick people into sending them money by telling them that if they follow their instructions 1 million or a couple of millions would roll into their accounts later on?

Here's what I've got this evening, scroll a lil lower for my reply to the scammer in white. It's a lil lame, but I do hope this idiot falls for it.

From Mrs.monica lee (SCAMMER)
Dearest in christ.
My name is Mrs. monica lee a nationality of Kuwait.but I am married to lraqan.my late husband Mr Oleg.. who worked with Iraqi central bank by saddam hussein's son's, for nine years before he was killed by the bu US soldiers in the year Octorber 2003. We were married for twenty years with Two childer. He died in the war that lasted for long two year. Before his death we were both Christians. When my late husband was alive he sent out one of these boxes out of iraq to a warehouse. the sum of $4Million (FOUR Million U.S.Dollars) with one of warehouse . Presently, this money is still with the warehouse Recently my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to my cancer problem.
http://www.ice.gov/graphics/investigations/iraqi_heritage.htm
Though what disturbs me most is my stroke. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to orphanages and widows or better still a Good individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in. I want a person or
church that will use this fund to, orphanages, research centres and widows,To ensure that the good work is maintained. I took this decision because I have a childer that will inherit this money but my son can not carryout this work only because i and my late husband decide to use some of the money to work for Good and live some for our son,s to have a better live. our son,s is just 3yearold and older is 8yearold now and both grow up in Iraqi, he have low manterity and my husband´s relatives aare fighting for my husband money and I don´t want my family hard earned money to be misused by ungodly. I don´t want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner. Hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going to. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord.says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I want your telephone communication in this regard because of my money and my health , the presence of my family relatives around me always .

I don´t want any of my husband family relatives to recieve this money. With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the warehouse. I will also issue you a letter of authority that will empower you as the new beneficiary of this fund. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I live a life of a good life. Whoever that wants to serve the good lord must serve him in spirit and truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your reply will give me room for good life, individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated here. Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.
Mrs. monica lee
Dear Monica,

My name is Mader. I'm so sorry to hear about your terrible condition.
I have to say that your english is near perfect as an Iraqi, as a
Singaporean (Singapore is in China), I am against the war US waged
against Iraq. I was rather amazed that we share the same surname! My
surname is Lee too, how coincidental! Are you a Chinese? If yes then
we've got the same ancestors!

I am so excited now, nevertheless, I will help you even if it means
that I have to sell my computer and handphone. Poor thing you poochy
woochy. I have a friend who works in a bank, she might be able to help
you. Her name is Pa Chiu Cheng. You can call her Miss Pa, but I think
she prefers to be addressed as Monica. Her Husband's last name is
Chng, so you may call her MONICA CHNG. (You guys share the same name
too!)

Do let me know how to contact you in anyway.

Send my regards to your mother,
Lee Ta Mader.

I do hope that this stupid scammer replies, woohoo!

2005-04-18T20:36:00.000+10:00

I'm surprised that Straits Times did report on the PSC scholar incident. I was half tempted to forward a mail to Straits Times but reckoned it was a bad idea, but guess what? Someone with enough balls did it. I am surprised that Straits Times decided to have an article on it, which I think they probably wouldn't if that dude was some minister's kid or something. Even if they did have an article in the end they'll probably end up taking it down within a few hours. (I'm sure many of you paid subscribers would have noticed it by now)

Anyway, I hope Mr Wannabe Lawyer did finish his assignment as my partner and I've been bombing his email for hours... =P

That aside, Singapore's finally gonna have a casino! I wonder what debates that's gonna spark off now. No queer issues to talk about, nothing much to bitch about, I'm off to the casino.

2005-04-17T18:18:00.000+10:00

I couldn't help but express my disgust at Straits Times Interactive's habit of having articles up on the their website and taking it down the next day. And these articles are usually regarding political stuff, some gay stuff, oppositions, or some political blog. It's so damn annoying! I'm a paid subscriber for godsake damn it! It's like if they do realize that some blog has linked up the article or something they'll take it down the next day.

I don't know if you guys realize that but it's REALLY beginning to annoy me because I just paid 60 Singapore dollars to read some Government controlled paper. I'm going into a bitch fit soon. !%^@$^&@%#$!!

Speaking of bitch fit, I think the bitchiness in me has resulted in me forwarding some emails to certain people with regards to the PSC Scholar Chua Cheng Zhan about his racist blog entries and comments he made towards our darker skin fellow human beings. I don't mean to be a bitch, but I reckon people like him never really learn till it hurts. His scholarship may not be withdrawn, but I think people around him should really know how hypocritical a man like him can be. A high-achiever, straight As, high IQ, but definitely low EQ. It's disappointing that a person like him is going to serve in the public/government sector in Singapore. Hmm.. I don't know why but my gaydar is twitching a lil when I saw the pictures of this dude.. He seems a lil queer... (pun intended). However I shan't speculate anything on the net for fear of being sued for defamation and all.

That aside, I think I just made a blogger friend, lol. Wannabe Lawyer. I've been following his entries a lil here and there and found it a good read. An exchange of emails made me discover how small this world is (literally). Nice chap, I guess I'll link him up here but not without asking him first. =)

Spinning: Kelly Clarkson - Breakaway

2005-04-16T00:15:00.000+10:00

In L word (people in Singapore won't get to see this show, it's the lesbian Sex and the City drama serial which is hot, HOT, H.O.T!), Alice(a bisexual and kaypoh writer) attempts to draw up this web thing (like how friendster works) of which lesbian has shagged who and at the end of the day nearly everyone would be connected by 2 to a max 3 lesbians altogether?

It's ironic that the female species are the ones who are more monogamous as compared to their male counterparts, and these sorta stuff happens? I mean even in an Asian country like Singapore, it pretty much happens these way too. If you walk into a lesbian or a gay club, you pretty much realize that everyone is pretty much everyone else's ex-partner? My partner says that she doesn't really have much a faith in these sorta relationships because everyone seems to be sleeping with everyone at the end of the day. Is it actually easier for PLU(people like us) to actually get outta the relationship and get onto a new one immediately?

My arguement is that PLU are pretty much the same with our heterosexual counterparts. The reason it seems like everyone knows everyone else is perhaps due to how small the community is so perhaps we don't have much of a choice anyway? But if you take a look on fridae, the community seems really huge (which then again makes me wonder how can the government just pretend that we don't really exist). So what lies behind the reason for the "everyone is everyone else's ex". I don't see myself as promiscuous (even though my partner claims that I am scandalous), and to me, if a relationship doesn't work out, I would give it a try again but it just gets tiring and we all need a break eventually.

Now doesn't this "philosophy" apply to most people even the straight ones? So... Why the high frequency of PLUs changing partners?

I'm having a writer's block.. *poof* for now.
That aside, does anyone know Balaji's email, I'll send him some spam mails or flood his mailbox with my rants or something, haha.

2005-04-14T21:19:00.000+10:00

Yesterday as I shopped in the city with my partner, I started to wonder how life would be like if there was no such a thing called homophobia. Everyone would seem to be the same more or less, there's no such thing as "Oh my god, they're gay, then they've got to be pedophiles, perverts, blah blah".

It's been less than 2 years since I came out of my closet, and my friends have more or less been cool with who I really am, except for one. To this close friend of mine, homosexuals are like social deviants, perverse and rebellious. She thinks that we are not homosexual because it's innate, but it's more like a choice and since I was straight once, it would be possible for the process to be reversible. Life seems to be alright with her around as long as we don't touch on the topic of me and my girlfriend, but if I do tell her abit more about my life, she would tell me things like I hopes that I will be ok one day and she hopes that I'll come out of it soon. (She sees it as a phase you see).

It's not a phase, and I would be sick to attempt to rebel against my parents who are very conservative and a father who is a member of PAP. I do secretly hope that one day, just one day I would be able to come out to my parents, but I doubt the day would ever happen. The other day my mother called, and asked me whether it would be justified for her to disown me if she found out that I was a lesbian. At that moment I wanted to just scream on the phone and tell her that YES MA I AM! SO WHAT?? But all I could do was to tell her to stop imagining things and no I am not.

I know the consquences of me telling the truth.
1. They will stop funding my education (I am overseas, not in Singapore)
2. I will lose the inheritance.
3. I am incapable of working to support myself and to pay for my school fees.
4. My relatives would shun upon me.
5. At the end of the day I may have a bunch of friends who would back me up but I would not be able to pursue my dreams and I'll lose my degree.

SIGH.

On a lighter note, I read up on Mr Brown's blog on the article about Balaji and the gay parties and all. I have to say that it was rather witty and I really enjoyed his sense of humour. I do wish that TODAY would publish that article, but I reckon if they were to do that, the editor of that paper would probably lose his job.

Censorship and Singapore.. *shakes head.
While in my political science class today, I reflected my opinion on political parties in Singapore and how firm a grip they have on the media and the people. My caucasian classmates seemed surprise at what I said, as the impression they have on Singapore was rather liberal and democratic. At the end of the class, I wonder if I actually badmouthed the country that I grew up in, but reassured myself that I was just telling a truth, and leading a discussion that's all.

Shrugs.
Spinning: The Cardigans - Lovefool.

2005-04-13T16:58:00.000+10:00

I've decided to start a blog after reading so many blogs that concerns the freedom of Singapore, blah blah blah. There was a "Singabloodypore" that was very intrigueing, then there was many others freedom of expression blogs that I enjoyed reading.

So here I go about what Dr Balaji (actually I'll just refer to him has Bala, I've doubts with regards to how he got his title "Dr" from apart from spending thousand of dollars in a college that only requires him to memorize everything) said during the Life! Theatre Awards.
It pissed the hell outta me to begin with, to how insensitive his remarks could be.

Here I quote from Bala

"I looked down at the crowd. Probably four to five chaps among them are positive and would die in four to five years. The risk is not me or the Ministry of Health, but the four to five chaps who are HIV-positive," he said.

It amazed me how irrelevant this so-called Minister of Health could say to a bunch of "media people" His assumption of them being gay for one, and his assumption that they do not practise safe sex is just appalling for a second.

For a man who has recieved many years of education, particularly in the medical field, he should understand that we are unable to tell whether or not a person carries AIDS just from a naked eye.

His attempt to promote homophobia is probably just going to result in more creative gay people leaving Singapore, and those who are overseas? Never ever want to step back ever again.
Doesn't it make you wonder, why are there people out there who are unable to accept the minorities so much?
Do they fear what they do not know? I presume yes.
The media is very much controlled by the government, and I presume that we all know that (unless you are some prick who's been living in a lil hole for the past 10 years, you do realize that there is a hell lot of censorship, and never a day have u heard about bad stuff regarding the Singapore government).
They choose what they want us to see, and they let us see it.
Those who has never been outta Singapore much, or do not read about politics from an outsider's point of view thinks it's perfectly fine, and Singapore is just a FINE country.
Fine cuntry indeed. (pun intended)

It's the 21st century for godsake?
Haven't anyone heard that homosexuality is partly innate and partly environmentally influenced?
And for those who has undertaken gender studies, we are born being a male, or female, but never a sexuality.
Sexuality is what probably a choice at the end of the day, unless you choose to conform to the norm of course.

It's disheartening to be a Singaporean.
It's even more disheartening to know that my parents are those people who are totally brainwashed by the government.